I mentioned health issues last July, and then disappeared for nine months! NO, not a baby... Four kiddos is enough for now, but that would be easier to explain! Still do not know what exactly is the cause, so quite frustrating when the main symptom is unrelenting fatigue. I'm still my laughing self, but some days are just HARD.
Despite all of this, I've homeschooled a second year, tutored a second year, and all of us are starting to see where we fit in this routine. I am not a bell-and-schedule sort of homeschooler. We try to stick to a plan of which subjects BEFORE lunch, and others, mostly non-essentials, after.
In our February doldrums this year, I sat down at the computer and worked up a spreadsheet checklist of ALL my expectations, school, home, and personal, for my older kids for each week. This has been a while in coming, but we wanted to our kids to experience earning money and privileges, as similarly as possible to real working life. They each have jobs that are awarded by ability and interests, but enough so that they each can earn $8 per week. Some may think this small, some may think this a lot! It's a bit high for OUR budget, but... our kids are responsible for their own extras, whether food snacks or extra clothing, so that is where we have made room for the extra outlay. We will provide 7-10 outfits per season, 2-4 sets of dress clothes, daily shoes, and dress shoes. We will also provide apples, carrots and celery with hummus, and popcorn for snacks. A frugal child can choose to live well within our boundaries, and save for their interests. We pray that valuable, yet somewhat painful, lessons are learned by our not-so-frugal child NOW, so that the big very painful lessons we learned the hard way in our early adulthood can be avoided.
As it's Autism Awareness month, I want to share a bit about my sweet middle daughter, L. Long before her diagnosis, we knew that she was not neurotypical. She crawled at fourteen months, walked at twenty-eight months, so both about twice as long as all the developmental milestones checklists say. The first couple months of my youngest's life were quite muscle-building for me, because I was carrying TWO little ones and all their gear! (And not like with twins, because one was twenty-six months older!!) I was SO encouraged when she started walking after only one month of physical therapy, but speech was to take longer... At three years old, she aged out of the early intervention program and into the school district's jurisdiction. I had had the privilege of being home with her for her whole life thus far, so can you imagine how sad I was to see her going off on the bus, ALL day, four days per week?! Preschool has been such an amazing experience for L, though! She knows her classmates by name, she snuggles with her fantastic teacher, and she gets a scheduled day that is separate from me. Yes, even though I homeschool, this was so crucial to L, because NOW, we have a parent-child relationship, while before she saw me as the taskmaster. I can teach academic subjects, but I wasn't making WALKING and TALKING fun for a child that had to work so hard to do them! I love being able to celebrate her accomplishments, like songs that she's been singing recently, and not constantly pushing her out of her comfort zone.
L's diagnosis came after she began preschool. When her younger sister was nearly eighteen months old, I realized, with a shock, that little baby S was catching, and in some areas, passing, L in abilities! I did not laugh that day; instead, I wept. I knew what my next step was, as L's early intervention and preschool staff had laid out the plan, if needed, before kindergarten, so that she would continue to receive therapies. Even knowing the possibilities, I was still taken aback by the diagnosis. How could my sweet, smiley, snuggly girl have AUTISM? She smiles, she hugs! Surely not!!
As they say, denial is the first stage of grief, and while it may seem callous to anyone who has lost a child, having a label of autism stuck on your child does feel much like loss. How can my child ever be able to do this, or this, or what about that? Will they even be able to live independently, marry, have a family, and so on... I do not know the answers, but I do know the One who does, and so I've learned to set those worries aside.
For anyone who may read this, a diagnosis does NOT change your loved one! My daughter is STILL my sweet, smiley, snuggly girl... she just qualifies for a little extra time and attention from others!
L's diagnosis was just before her fourth birthday. At that time, she used approximately one hundred words... Now, I don't think we could successfully tally them, and sentences! I cannot tell you the JOY it is to hear my sweet one tell me in the produce section of the grocery store, "We have lots of ripe bananas"... Six word sentences are so, so, so distant from a one hundred word vocabulary! I didn't even know she knew the word ripe!!
"And She Laughs" is more than just a blog name for me... It's a reminder that in the darkest days, laughter is not far away, and that sometimes joy has to be sought out, and savored all the more for the contrast.
May you see God's joy in the midst of your life, and smile, or even laugh, to pass it on.
